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Bisms
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Written by OG
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Saturday, 27 January 2007 |
At a faux local Hawaiian café Caucasian musicians played traditional Hawaiian ballads. One was having trouble with his microphone.
Bee said, “He needs to turn up his microwave, I mean microphone.” |
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Bisms
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Written by OG
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Friday, 26 January 2007 |
Tuesday, a neighbor of Paint Brush, explained the many spiders found in the yard are harmless.
Bee said, “Oh, so they are benevolent?”
“Benign, you mean?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
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Bisms
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Written by OG
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Friday, 26 January 2007 |
Somewhere in the day we were disusing my love of steak and possibly going to a vegan restaurant. “Well, just because you are carnivus, doesn’t mean we all are.” Bee said.
“Carnivorous?”
“No. Carnivus.”
“I don’t think that’s a word Bee.”
“Sure it is. Carnivus.”
“It’s carnivorous, or carnivore, but carnivus is a bism.”
“Ok. Fine. Just because you are a carnivore doesn’t mean we all are.”
“Right. So, if you want to go to a vegan restaurant, have fun. I’ll stay here and make steak.” |
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Rug Rat Quotes
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Written by OG
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Friday, 26 January 2007 |
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Bristle, the adopted daughter of Paint Brush knows she was adopted. When Paint Brush introduced the idea to Bristle, she made a big-happy-deal of it. “Bristle honey. You know you are adopted, right?” Paint brush said adopted like it was a most wonderful thing in the world, which it was. Bristle smiled with excitement, even though she didn’t know what it meant... |
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Daily Grind
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Written by OG
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Sunday, 21 January 2007 |
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Yesterday, while at the airport waiting to leave for a trip to Hawaii, Bee and I stopped in one of the over priced airport stores to buy Benadryl. I hate long trips and wanted something to knock me out. We’re going to Hawaii. It’s a twelve hour trip from Yuppy-Town. We are staying with her x-roommate, Paint Brush. Paint Brush and her husband recently adopted a girl from China. Bee decided to buy a stuffed monkey for the girl. “Which one’s cuter?” she asked.
“They’re all the same. They are identical.”
“No. Didn’t you ever read the Velveteen Rabbit? This one is definitely cuter.” She said and picked one.
I laughed and snapped a picture for you.
If you can tell which one is cuter, please do leave a comment about which one it is. |
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Daily Grind
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Written by OG
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Sunday, 21 January 2007 |
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After Twelve hours, three sleeping pills (The Benadryl didn’t work), a nanny with an intermittently screaming two year old sitting in our row and nicotine withdrawals, we got off the plane in lovely Lihue. It’s a small airport full of Happy Hawaiians and crab-ass tourist such as myself. I had booked a car from Alamo on line. Of course the reservation got f**ked up and I found myself being a complete jerk. Surprise. Surprise. It came down to Bee standing horrified next to me while I and the manager of the Alamo were having a pissing contest.
“Sir. I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m trying to help you.”
“Actually, your incompetence is hurting me. Now, stop being such an idiot, start over and find my reservation.” I wanted to say. Instead, I said, “You don’t have to condescend.” I should have said what I wanted, because my tone and expression said it anyway.
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Family Stories
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Written by OG
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Thursday, 18 January 2007 |
So, I got this little heart warming email from Bee. (It feels not quite like heart burn). I have no idea if it's true or not, but the spirit of it seems worth while even to a grumpy beast such as myself. Plus, it fits perfectly in our new category Family Stories.
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Two Choices
What would you do....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"
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Family Stories
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Written by OG
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Sunday, 14 January 2007 |
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Hung out with Bama and Levi last night. Met the new neighbor I.T. He’s from Staten Island. He and his wife just moved in from Manhattan because the same size apartment in the city would have been four times as much. Anyway, Bama told a story of a tiff between her younger brothers over the holidays. They had gone to a riverboat gambling in Albama. They are both handsome and make a lady-killer duo that brings a steady stream of female attention their way. However, the older brother tends to tell the younger brother what to do. It reached a peak where the younger brother turned to the older brother and said. “Back off or I’m gonna kill you mother f**cker. Then, I’m gonna drag your bloody body into the parking lot and beat your dead ass with your own bloody limbs.”
Ah brotherly love and sibling rivalry.
Reminds me of the time I threatened my sister with an empty shotgun and she pulled a knife on me. I was devastated that my sister would pull a knife on me. She could not have seriously thought I loaded the gun, even though I screamed that I would. Oh! To be a demented little Ogre again. Not really. |
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Daily Grind
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Written by Emcee
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Saturday, 13 January 2007 |
Why is it that I find myself wirting on this site when I'm grungy and hung over? We went out to dinner last night with OG, B, Princess and Eva. I started out with a Bombay Sapphire and tonic (mostly gin, as I know the bartender). As I'm finding out this morning (afternoon), that was probably a mistake. I followed up the drink with a Sierra Nevada in a bottle. We were warned that you cannot drink the draft beer at this place, hence my g&t. Dinner was good - this place is pretty good at delivering decent, reliable but unexciting pub food, and the place was jamming. We then went to our local, where I followed dinner up with four pints of Guinness. Maybe the g&t helped out my dart game as we ran the board last night (probably, though, it was my partner). A bunch of people were there, including CF and Ms Proper. Its a good thing we didn't lose until my last beer because there were at least five names on the board at all times, which meant at least a 40 minute wait between games. I'm paying for it this morning (afternoon) though. I'm blaming the gin for my splitting headache.
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Daily Grind
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Written by OG
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Monday, 08 January 2007 |
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1/8/07 Yuppy Town. 7:16 am. Dinks On Drinks. Pot Belly Sneeches. Had a birthday / Secret Santa party at Black Bear’s Saturday night. Unfortunately I am swamped with mammon work and do not have the time to write all the fine details. However, here are some highlights for remembrance.
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