Grumpy Blogs about life, dreams and Work

Sunday. 6:42 am.

There were some dreams, but I can’t recall them at the moment.  I want to say there was something robotic about them, an older man, but, eh.  It’s gone.

Anyway, I started this blog entry because I thought I wanted to write something down.  Mostly there is just anxiety regarding work, business, success and failure.  It seems that, .. I don’t now what I want to say.  I have a bunch of regular work to do, but I don’t feel like it.

Worked through the morning yesterday, then ate lunch, channel surfed for awhile, then took a bath.  I haven’t done that in awhile.  A real bath. 

Moving on, I also feel sad about my mother.   Feel like I’m just a wallet to her now.  I never hear from her unless she needs money.  The whole last incident makes me feel like shit. What am I supposed … Just a hole. A great big nothing hole that’s widening. I do not know if I will help her again.  I feel like I need to truly cut the ties because she is just using me for money now.  I’ve tried numerous times to help her, to invite her to live with us, to live in our Mountain house, and she just turns me down, comes up with some excuse, just takes the money and disappears again.  I don’t even know where she’s living now.  This is what sucks.  This is pretty much what I need to do.  I need to cut her off because she’s just a leach.  She’s just crazy and using Bee and I.  I hate to have to do it, but she is like my Brother and Father.  I never talk to them or them me. It’s a terrible thing to have to let your mother slip into homelessness because she only uses you for money.